Election 2010, an idiot’s viewpoint

Having already decided which way to vote in the forthcoming elections I have little or no interest in the election coverage being laid before us. It is as if we are to be subjected to blanket bombing by proxy. The BBC, though, as a wholly owned agent of government, is bound by instructions to serve the many not the few. My contention is that most of us have already decided what to vote and are unshakable in that commitment so only the “few” are interested in election coverage in the media unless it be entertaining. There are some entertaining bits to be found. For instance, the public relations officer of one infamous fringe party has been dismissed for plotting to kill the party leader - not funny in itself but it has its funny side. But no amount of leaflets through my door telling me this is not a two horse race will ever persuade me that this two horse race will be won by one of the two.

What really gets my goat as a TV licence fee payer, and always has, is when you get one TV presenter well dressed and fully made up above the waist being interviewed by her fellow TV presenter. This is to pass information gathered by that reporter into the mind of the viewer. We are paying two for doing what one could be doing straight into camera, leaving the other to do something actually interesting, like reporting on bungee jumping, or the primordial effects of meditation in the Himalayas. They could report on real people doing or failing to do real things. One assumes that would mean using a second cameraman but with so many of the unemployed having shown they are well able to aim a camera from infancy this should not be a deal breaker.

Rows of little skyscraper charts on TV with blue, red and yellow windowless office blocks rising and sinking on command from a man we know has been a dyed in the wool socialist from birth or he would not have got the job do not amuse. Images of a man who bought a bus to match the colour of his new tie are even less amusing after the first few chuckles.

I demand the right to watch Gordon Brown stumble on the sands and get his new suit soaked in the encroaching tide at least once in this election campaign.